Self-interest or selflessness in dark days.

"But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people." From Paul's second letter to Timothy as translated in the NIV.

"The darkest hour is just before the dawn" ~ Thomas Fuller

It is a truism that we are drawn as humans to focus on those things that are horrifying. Social media and the news media in general flood us with all the horrific things that are happening in the world and feed fear of "the other." Right now, at this very moment in history, the world is full of horrors. We have news of a disease that may or may not be highly infectious, we have people fearing death at the hands of government officials, we have rioting in the streets due to terrorist groups infiltrating protests causing even more fear of death, and we have hateful and angry speech being hurled back and forth mostly about who is to blame and how awful the "other side" is. That is only what is happening in the United States. In other parts of the world, there are even more horrors to be found, but the issues here in the U.S. are enough for the purposes of this writing. 

Human beings, by the very existence of sin in our hearts, are incapable of making any decisions on our own that are not tainted with self-interest. From the investment banker who thinks, "what if I just take a little bit here or there, no one will notice," to the man or woman who says to himself/herself; "I like what I see, so I'm going to take advantage of this other person and use them for my own physical pleasure," in spite of consent, outside the bond of marriage, or even outside the legal restrictions of age; to even something seemingly as innocuous as the person who says to themselves, "I see something happening over there that doesn't seem right, but I may be hurt in some way if I intervene, so I will not," all are acting in percieved self-interest. 

The believer in Jesus Christ should be different by nature of the "renewal of our minds." (see Romans 12:2) We are changed by the working of the Holy Spirit in our hearts and this, through prayer, Bible study, and meditation on God's Word; subdues the natural human inclination toward self-interest. Our focus must be centered on others rather than how we feel about a situation. It is natural to form opinions, but will the opinions and the sharing of same be beneficial to those who hear? (see Ephesians 4:29). 

Another application is to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger (See James 1:19). Part of wisdom and maturity in Christ is knowing when to listen, especially when to listen to the still small voice of the Holy Spirit. When we, as Christ followers, rush to judgement and speak the first thing that comes to mind, we fall into a dangerous trap. The world is watching. They know what we claim to be, and when they see us act exactly like them (and sometimes worse), we blend with the darkness and they see no difference. 

"Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16 NASB) A light shines in the darkness, and our light is the light of Christ. We do not have it of our own selves, it comes from God through the Holy Spirit, and when we let that light shine we share the Spirit of God with others. Only the Light of God can overcome the darkness of this world. "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it." (John 1:5 NLT)

When we live as light, we show love to our neighbors. We know who our neighbor is, that particular illustration has been reiterated so many times that any American Christian who has not heard of the good Samaritan, has been hiding in a hole somewhere with no human contact. The instruction to love our neighbors is antithetical to self-interest. The Apostle Paul even goes so far as to say we should consider others as better than ourselves. 

Then there is the Apostle James, who tells us that the tongue (a metaphor for our speech, i.e. what we say), is like the rudder of a ship, which can either keep it on course, or scuttle it. 

We all have feelings, and there is a reason the Apostle Paul said, "be angry but do not sin." Our feelings need to be put under the submission of the Holy Spirit. We cannot let them control how we react or interact with others, but rather we should excercise compassion in all our interactions. Compassion, agape love if you will, is more than just a feeling; it is a pattern of behavior. 

So before we speak or post the tweet or facebook comment that will "show the other guy," we need to stop, take a breath, and make sure that it meets the following criteria:

1. Is is true? If yes, go to #2. If no, stop and do not post or say it. If uncertain, stop and do not post or say it. 

2. Is it compassionate or is it loving? If you are certain it is, go to #3. If the answer is no, or you are not sure, go to prayer and seek counsel from scripture or someone wise in the faith.

3. Is it beneficial? If I say what I am thinking, will it lead people closer to Christ or might it push them away? 

I hope this is helpful to those who read it. If you are touched by what God has given me, please share it. Let us encourage each other toward the Light. 

A Father's wisdom

Read Proverbs 4

It's been nearly ten years. It's surreal to even think it's been that long. Shelly and I went north to see my Dad who had been admitted to a hospital in Worcester, Mass.. We visited with him on a Friday afternoon, then when he started to get tired, we left the hospital and went to our motel. He was a little tired, but seemed to be doing ok. The next morning, we received the call that everyone dreads...My dad was gone. We were at Old Sturbridge Village at the time, and I remember closing my phone and heading for the car without saying a word because I knew I'd be incomprehensible. Shelly figured it out pretty quick though.

We met my mom at the hospital, prayed around the body that had so recently held my dad's spirit, then headed back to Westfield. The week was a blur. I know I sang at Dad's funeral. I remember being upset because they had an open casket viewing against his wishes and refused to go in until the casket was closed because that was something he'd been adamant about. I remember a full church at the memorial service held the Thursday after his death. And I remember my dad in my dreams. Even now, it's usually only once a week, but my dad is still there.

Above and beyond that, I remember my dad always pushing me to be wise and not foolish, to embrace wisdom. He seemed to always have a proverb to quote to me from the Bible, and always in the KJV: "Go to the ant thou sluggard! Consider her ways and be wise," or "a rod is for the back of fools," or any number of others.

My dad also taught me the value of integrity. Some people find it strange that I refuse to lie. I've even quit a job because I was asked to lie and I refused to work for an employer who would ask me to be dishonest. But every time it's suggested that I lie, I remember my dad saying: "Always tell the truth, never lie, but you don't have to volunteer information until you're asked." Usually this speech was given after I'd shared a bit of personal family information as young children are apt to do.  

I didn't always agree with my dad, but I always respected him.

Now, I have a son of my own. At times I find the wisdom my own father passed on to me coming out of my own mouth. I know that it may not take root for some years yet, but I hope that my father's wisdom will one day be of use to his grandson.

The thing about my father's wisdom is that it was his Father's wisdom. The values my dad drilled into me when I was young are the values, not of his earthly father, who was a good man in his own right, but rather the values of the Heavenly Father who laid down His wisdom in the Bible for us to read and understand. The apostle James wrote that we should pray for wisdom, and God would grant it to us in abundance so long as we trust Him to do so.

And that is what my earthly father passed along to his children. Wisdom is valuable. It is priceless. I hope I never forget the wisdom of my father. I hope that one day, my son embraces it as I have. His memory lives on.

Sometimes you just have to walk away.

“You can please some of the people some of the time all of the people some of the time some of the people all of the time but you can never please all of the people all of the time.”

- Abraham Lincoln 

Yeah, it's not a scripture passage, but don't worry, that's coming. In fact, in 1 Corinthians 8, the Apostle Paul talks about not offending others with our actions. Specifically, he writes about eating meat sacrificed to idols. 

Paul states that we should be aware so we don't cause a younger brother or sister in faith to stumble. So we do our best, and sometimes, even when we see another person making an error and try to bail them out, it turns on us anyway. It recently happened to me when I confronted someone about something they had posted on social media. One thing led to another and it became obvious that not only was the original poster not going to be reasonable, but one of his family members joined the fray, and I had to apply another scripture. In fact, it is one of my favorite, on the surface most confusing, scripture passages.  

Proverbs 26:4,5 (NLT)

4 Don’t answer the foolish arguments of fools,
   or you will become as foolish as they are.

⁵ Be sure to answer the foolish arguments of fools,
    or they will become wise in their own estimation.

My understanding of these verses is this: Don't argue with someone who isn't willing to listen because you're not going to win and you'll just be frustrated in the long run. Correct someone when they're saying something silly, because if you don't they'll just keep on doing it. Simply put, state your piece, and if the other person isn't willing to roll with it, walk away. 

Proverbs 10:8 (NLT)   

The wise are glad to be instructed,
    but babbling fools fall flat on their faces.

All we can do is try to point the other person in the right direction and pray that they go the right way. Beyond that, they're responsible to God for their own actions. 

So, I walked away. I'll pray for the kid and his family, but it will do me no good to continue to bang my head against the wall, and it won't do either the kid, or his family member any good because they're convinced of their self-righteousness. 

It all comes back to balance. 

Proverbs 10:9 (NLT) 

People with integrity walk safely, but those who follow crooked paths will slip and fall.