A Father's wisdom

Read Proverbs 4

It's been nearly ten years. It's surreal to even think it's been that long. Shelly and I went north to see my Dad who had been admitted to a hospital in Worcester, Mass.. We visited with him on a Friday afternoon, then when he started to get tired, we left the hospital and went to our motel. He was a little tired, but seemed to be doing ok. The next morning, we received the call that everyone dreads...My dad was gone. We were at Old Sturbridge Village at the time, and I remember closing my phone and heading for the car without saying a word because I knew I'd be incomprehensible. Shelly figured it out pretty quick though.

We met my mom at the hospital, prayed around the body that had so recently held my dad's spirit, then headed back to Westfield. The week was a blur. I know I sang at Dad's funeral. I remember being upset because they had an open casket viewing against his wishes and refused to go in until the casket was closed because that was something he'd been adamant about. I remember a full church at the memorial service held the Thursday after his death. And I remember my dad in my dreams. Even now, it's usually only once a week, but my dad is still there.

Above and beyond that, I remember my dad always pushing me to be wise and not foolish, to embrace wisdom. He seemed to always have a proverb to quote to me from the Bible, and always in the KJV: "Go to the ant thou sluggard! Consider her ways and be wise," or "a rod is for the back of fools," or any number of others.

My dad also taught me the value of integrity. Some people find it strange that I refuse to lie. I've even quit a job because I was asked to lie and I refused to work for an employer who would ask me to be dishonest. But every time it's suggested that I lie, I remember my dad saying: "Always tell the truth, never lie, but you don't have to volunteer information until you're asked." Usually this speech was given after I'd shared a bit of personal family information as young children are apt to do.  

I didn't always agree with my dad, but I always respected him.

Now, I have a son of my own. At times I find the wisdom my own father passed on to me coming out of my own mouth. I know that it may not take root for some years yet, but I hope that my father's wisdom will one day be of use to his grandson.

The thing about my father's wisdom is that it was his Father's wisdom. The values my dad drilled into me when I was young are the values, not of his earthly father, who was a good man in his own right, but rather the values of the Heavenly Father who laid down His wisdom in the Bible for us to read and understand. The apostle James wrote that we should pray for wisdom, and God would grant it to us in abundance so long as we trust Him to do so.

And that is what my earthly father passed along to his children. Wisdom is valuable. It is priceless. I hope I never forget the wisdom of my father. I hope that one day, my son embraces it as I have. His memory lives on.

We're all prodigals...

Read Luke 15:11-32

The story of the prodigal son is possibly the best known Parable of Jesus Christ. The story touches on the love of a father for a son who treats him with contempt. Most parents of teenagers can probably identify with that; I know I can.

The son leaves takes his inheritance and leaves home, squandering his limited wealth and destroying his life and future. He eventually finds himself homeless and alone, living off the garbage fed to a farmer's pigs. It is at this point in the son's life that he realizes how good he really had it at his father's house, so he goes back, ready to plead to be taken in as a servant, and his father throws a feast and welcomes his son back into his home with joy and rejoicing.

I am finally in a place where I can identify with that father's pain. There is so much hope, and so much work put into the training of a child, perhaps a bit of a "spit and a promise" at times as well, but in the end, the child must make his or her decision as to what to do with all that nurturing and training that has been given to them.

When the child seems to have caught on and seems to embrace what you've tried to teach them, there is a sense of pride and accomplishment we parents feel, but when they turn their back on everything they've been taught, it hurts.

But then, we're all broken. God loves us as we are, cracks and all. He may not approve of our choices and actions, but he accepts us through the blood of Jesus Christ. Even as I feel my heart wants to shrivel up inside of me, I know that acceptance and I place my own son in the hands of my Heavenly Father.

As He spoke the words through the Prophet Jeremiah: "For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11)

Forever fruits...

Proverbs 22:6
"Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

The following is an open letter to my son:

Y'know, when you invest your time and love in another person , and you finally start to see your efforts bearing fruit, that is an amazing feeling.

Nine and a half years ago, you came into our lives. Your mother and I weren't sure what to expect when a bespectacled seven-year-old came into our lives, walked into our humble little trailer and exclaimed "sweet! I have my own room!"

The first time you called me Daddy, I knew I was hopelessly lost.

Your life with us has been at times a battle, at times, a heartbreak, and at other times, absolute bliss. There have been times we've been so worried for you, we couldn't sleep.

Now, getting close to ten years later, you've grown into a handsome young man. Not only that, you've grown in other ways that touch my heart. Fewer are the moments of frustration,  and greater are the moments when I see a glimpse of the great man you are becoming.  Over the last two months, and even moreso, over the last three weeks, I have seen you exercise a maturity and a tender heart that make me realize, I was right to stay strong through the hard times.

I am proud to call you son, and look forward to seeing you grow fully into a man of strength and integrity.

Now I'm going to go have a little cry...a happy one.