Closer than a brother...

Proverbs 18:24 (NIV)
One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,
    But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

For those who don't know me at all, allow me to offer some context prior to plowing onward. For close to eight years of my life, I have worked for an organization called Friendship Community. I have labored as a direct care advisor, working side by side with gentlemen who live in a group home environment.

Due to circumstances of birth, childhood disease, or genetics, all of these men share a common need of someone to assist them with some or all of their daily routines. I, and others like me, each spend forty or more hours a week with them, living their lives alongside them, and caring for them. The pay in this line of work, at least in Pennsylvania, isn't enough to support a single income home. The work conditions are sometimes hazardous just by nature of what is required of us, and sometimes it feels like we are unappreciated or unnoticed.* Sometimes the individuals we work with can be unpredictable, and yes some of them can become violent at times, though this is a small fraction of the folks I've known.

So, why do I do what I do? Well, I'm called to it for one thing. For another, I've come to realize that when one works so closely with another, helping them with their most sensitive care, a bond develops. This bond is so deep, it is perhaps similar to the bond one feels with a sibling. When they are happy, we rejoice with them. When they are sad, we share their tears. When they are hurting, we ache for them. When they die, a little bit of us dies with them.

In my nearly eight years working with developmentally disabled individuals, I have lost five brothers. Peter; the man who loved Coca~Cola and for some reason took a shine to me. John; the quiet one who had a gentle spirit. Curtis; the vibrant one who always wanted to do something and always wanted to be in the center of whatever was happening. Bob; the prankster and my kindred spirit who will always live in my memory with a twinkle in his eye and mischievous smirk on his face. And most recently, Patrick; the servant who loved everyone and loved to do whatever he could for anyone else.

These men and those others still living are why I serve as I do. They are the reason I pray that God will continue to provide so I can continue to do the work I love with the brothers and sisters I've come to know.

Eight years ago, I was unemployed and wondering what God had for me. Now, eight years later, I am thankful that He brought me into this life of uncertainty. It is far from an easy life, and the work, though not always physically taxing, pulls on the heart and can be very spiritually draining. And even then, despite the heartbreak, the rewards are so immense. How else could I ever have an opportunity to be a part of so many families? How else could my life be touched by such amazing and wonderful people?

God has me here at this place in time for a reason. It is by His love and His will I continue to make friends with those who continue to become closer than a brother. I will be my brothers' keeper.

* The above statement is not intended as a reflection on Friendship Community. It is a general sentiment shared with me by others who work for various organizations.

"Pray for those who persecute you..."

^{Matthew 5:43-48 NLT}

⁴³ “You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’^[a] and hate your enemy. ⁴⁴ But I say, love your enemies!^[b] Pray for those who persecute you! ⁴⁵ In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. ⁴⁶ If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. ⁴⁷ If you are kind only to your friends,^[c] how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. ⁴⁸ But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.

People intrigue me. You can be the nicest person in the world, and you'll still have people who hate you. I can think of at least three instances in my life where people have done things to me, personally, intent on destroying me or my relationship with another person.

One in particular happened in college. Someone swapped out the return email address on their email client with mine and sent an email to the entirety of the faculty and staff of the college with a very negative statement in it. I have no idea who it was, and I really don't care at this point, but one way or another, it hurt badly at the time, and only by the grace of God did I not drop out of college because of it. I had a secure alibi at the time, having been no-where near a computer at the time, and this was nearly 20 years ago, long before the time of smartphones, so there was no negative blow-back on me from the college, but it still hurt that someone would do something so hateful. 

The second instance occurred a few years back. I was working for the organization I now am employed with, and a rather bitter fellow employee wanted my job. I found out about it much later, but apparently he and another employee did their best to undermine my position. I am thankful that it didn't work, I just kept trying to do the right thing and both of them ended up no longer employed at that same organization. I suppose the proverb, "he who walks in integrity walks securely" held true.

The third instance is more recent. An individual has been trying to undermine my relationship with another person. It hurts because I haven't earned the anger or hatred of this person, but I'm still on the receiving end. 

So, what am I to do? Well, I am again turning to the above passage, as I have in the past. I've been praying for the person in question. It's not easy. I want to be angry, I want to verbally attack and give them a piece of my mind, but I can't bring myself to do that. 

There are at least three reasons I've chosen this path, aside from the obvious command of Jesus Christ. Firstly; it would just make the other individual angrier than they already are. Secondly; it would do more harm to the relationship that person is trying to undermine. Thirdly; it would do me no good and cause harm to my own spirit. 

So, instead I've been praying for the person in question that God will turn their jealousy into understanding, their anger into peace, their bitterness into contentment, and their hatred into love. 

Again, it's not an easy thing, but look at the example we're given. We're told to "be perfect, even as your Father in Heaven is perfect." That's a tall order. It's huge. How on earth can I be perfect? I know I'm not, but forgiveness is a first step. 

This is coming from a man who looked down from a Roman cross and asked God the father to forgive the very people who were killing him.

Love your enemies...wow. That's huge.

The unexpected...

2 Corinthians 5:6-10

⁶ So we are always confident, even though we know that as long as we live in these bodies we are not at home with the Lord. ⁷ For we live by believing and not by seeing. ⁸ Yes, we are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord. ⁹ So whether we are here in this body or away from this body, our goal is to please him. ¹⁰ For we must all stand before Christ to be judged. We will each receive whatever we deserve for the good or evil we have done in this earthly body.

This past Friday started out much like any other. I went to work, helped the gentleman I work with get ready to go and took him out the door. I dropped him off for his routine Friday appointment, and half an hour later, he was gone from this world.

It was surreal. One moment, he was laughing and smiling, the next, he was gone. Just...like...that.

The above promise from the Apostle Paul is so commonly read at Funerals, but I think the last bit is the most important. Yes, we who have put our trust in Jesus Christ have a blessed hope that we are being sanctified through His blood and will be together with him when we die; but what does that matter if we have not truly lived for Him.

A couple of weeks back, I was heading to an appointment and I ended up behind a funeral procession and it was one of the saddest things I ever saw. Aside from the hearse and the limo, there were only six vehicles in the procession, and they only had one or two people in each. Only six. Now, I don't know the details, perhaps it was a young child who had passed, or perhaps someone who was so old at the time of their death that most of their friends and relatives had gone on ahead of them, but it was still a powerful image to me:

When I die, will I be remembered only by a few, or will I have such an impact for the cause of Christ that my memory will not soon fade? I know when my dad passed away nearly ten years ago now, there was a memorial service in one of the largest churches in Springfield, Mass that was standing room only. A young man whom I had the privilege of serving as a youth leader recently left his pastorate, wife, young son and family behind, and they had to book a bigger church just to hold all the people who went to his memorial service. Both men had an immense impact on those around them because they looked to the cause of Christ, not to themselves.

Now, don't misunderstand, I'm not trying to say I want a huge memorial service when the Father sees fit to call me home. What I'm saying is, I want to have lived my life so much for the cause of Christ that my life will be of value. I'm a person who doesn't really like a lot of attention; one who is content to just do what needs to be done and love and serve the people around me. I don't think I'm really cut out to be a pastor of a church, though I am gifted to teach. I enjoy writing and sharing my thoughts with my small audience of friends and family, and I believe that has merit. I enjoy working with the youth at church and working with the various folks at Friendship Community whom I have been honored to serve for nearly eight years.

Yet I wonder: am I doing enough? It's not that I think I will lose my eternal hope of salvation because I'm not doing enough. I suppose it's more a feeling of; "am I adequate? Am I doing everything I can?" Really, I don't know, but I do know that God has used me to touch some lives in a positive way, and for that I am thankful.

As for my friend who passed out of this life into the next just two days past, I look at his life, and it was vibrant. He lived to serve other people, and he will be remembered. Perhaps I will be remembered for the same, but I hope the honor is not given to me, but rather to Jesus Christ whom I serve.

I'm worn...

Read 1 Kings 19
 Sometimes I feel alone. I feel...worn. I was listening to the song by that title by Tenth Avenue North, and it really touched my heart tonight and got me to thinking about Elijah. The Prophet Elijah was tired. He'd been fighting for Jehovah, and still someone wanted to kill him. In fact, he had just come down off the mountain where he had called on the Almighty and had been rewarded with fire from heaven to consume his worthy sacrifice.  

We find him as he's run away to the wilderness. He feels God has abandoned him, yet miraculously, a bird brings him food every day. Even then he fears for his life at the hands of a human queen. 

But don't I do that too? Don't I run and hide from those who trouble me and threaten me and try to hurt me, forgetting all the while that God is all powerful. He is the power of the wind, and the small voice. 

In the words of the song linked below; I want to see redemption win. I want to see the power of God manifested in an undeniable way. Then, He shows His power, He does a great work, and I am in awe...for a moment...

Until the next struggle...

And I run to the wilderness...

And despite my lack of faith, God nourishes me from the stream of His spirit and the bread of his Word, and takes me up onto that metaphorical cliffside to teach me yet again that He is there in the stillness...

When I am quiet...

When I rest in Him...

While the winds of life wear me down, He is the quiet whisper of reassurance...and I can carry on. 

 

Forever fruits...

Proverbs 22:6
"Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

The following is an open letter to my son:

Y'know, when you invest your time and love in another person , and you finally start to see your efforts bearing fruit, that is an amazing feeling.

Nine and a half years ago, you came into our lives. Your mother and I weren't sure what to expect when a bespectacled seven-year-old came into our lives, walked into our humble little trailer and exclaimed "sweet! I have my own room!"

The first time you called me Daddy, I knew I was hopelessly lost.

Your life with us has been at times a battle, at times, a heartbreak, and at other times, absolute bliss. There have been times we've been so worried for you, we couldn't sleep.

Now, getting close to ten years later, you've grown into a handsome young man. Not only that, you've grown in other ways that touch my heart. Fewer are the moments of frustration,  and greater are the moments when I see a glimpse of the great man you are becoming.  Over the last two months, and even moreso, over the last three weeks, I have seen you exercise a maturity and a tender heart that make me realize, I was right to stay strong through the hard times.

I am proud to call you son, and look forward to seeing you grow fully into a man of strength and integrity.

Now I'm going to go have a little cry...a happy one.